{This is an update to my original blog post Purpose In The Pain.}
So interesting to read my words from 2009...and realize not much has changed over the years, until recently....
" A little frustrated after contacting an allergist to see about having an allergy test done for my hives, only to have them tell me majority of the time the results come back fine and they don't know why the hives happen. Makes me feel like the doctor is giving up on me before even seeing me??? Considering just seeing a naturopathic doctor for my ailments since regular doctors keep saying "we dont know..."
Since this post, I have pursued many doctors. All tried their best to help me. Lots of tests, an allergy test, etc...only to have all of them tell me they don't know what is causing this. My allergist, after many tests and visits, told me recently..."Well, I have an answer that no doctor likes to give...I don't know what is causing this severe reaction". sigh. The next step is to see an autoimmune doctor. There have been lots of theories over the years from doctors, friends, family, my own brain....so many things "could be" causing this.. All of which could be legitimate but no real diagnoses. It's difficult to live with a debilitating "illness" and have no idea what it is or why it's happening.
In case you were not able to read my original post:
I started with chronic severe hives in summer of 2008 , literally out of no where. I had plenty of health issues growing up, mainly with my stomach. Never severe hives that put me in the ER. I have been on an {almost} 10 year journey and struggle with this. Carrying a "med kit" of medications and an ep-pen with me everywhere I go, to take if an episode flares up.
My episodes would happen once every few months. Sometimes longer stretches. Sometimes shorter. Lots of food logs and journals trying to make a connection. Just when I think I have connected the dots...it changes and we start over. Since January my episodes have been once a month. Since June, twice a month. The last episode in July, I hit rock bottom. Not only do I have to rest for 2-3 days in a Benadryl fog , I also have to take high doses of steroids that leave me feeling ill with side effects. For about 1 week I am not able to function normally. Having this happen once a month was tough, but twice a month was too much. I was absolutely desperate for help. I have had to cancel and miss so many things over the last 9 years. It's frustrating, disappointing and even embarrassing at times. "Sorry, I can't make it, I'm sick again". Something had to change.
That's when a light bulb went off in my head after much time in prayer, asking God to please heal me or lead me to the right person, doctor , etc that can help me. After all, He created me. He knows exactly what is going on.
In my 2009 post I mentioned pursuing a naturopathic doctor for help. A few years ago after a friend told me about one locally that helped her friend...I set up an appointment. He helped me with some issues at the time and I started to feel better. Why I stopped going to him I'm not sure, but I set up another appointment for as soon as possible.
I was able to get in to see him recently. He spoke so much clarity into my situation with hives and with anxiety, it was a breath of fresh air. I was in tears as he explained so simply, yet so profoundly , why my body is going through this. I finally have a "why" and the help I have desperately needed. I have HOPE. I have RELIEF that this mysterious issue will not control my life anymore.
Years ago I had taken a histamine supplement that helped with the hives. I ran out and never refilled it. The hives weren't the main issue at that point and I forgot about the supplement until now. Since starting that again, I have had NO episodes!! By now I should have broken out. I felt one coming on recently, so I took more histamine supplement and never broke out fully. This is truly amazing! I have tears typing this. When you are at rock bottom , hope is gone, feeling so desperate for someone to help you...it's a dark place to be. To have hope restored is a feeling I cannot describe.
I had taken zyrtec and benahdryl per my allergists request and it did not stop the hives. No matter how much I took, I always ended up taking prednisone. The last episode I felt coming on recently, I did not have to take the steroid!! This is huge! One of my biggest issues was having to take so much prednisone. It not only made me feel sick, but is not good to take long term. I wanted so badly to be able to stop taking it...and I'm finally in that place!
What I have learned from my experience is that you have to be your own advocate. If you aren't getting the answers you need, keep pursuing , keeping pushing. Do not give up on yourself. Find something to motivate you to get up and get answers. If not for yourself, for your spouse, family, or children. My husband & kids were my top motivation along with wanting to just feel better. I am a joyful person and I love life! Being held down & held back by illness is not something I'm going to settle for. I was close to giving up and accepting my fate to be sick with this forever, until that light bulb went off. I needed to dig deep and try every avenue.
Seeing my naturopath was my last hope. I wanted to at least see if he had any idea or could help at all before seeing the autoimmune doctor. It's not a bad thing to see the autoimmune doctor and if I end up sick again , that is my next step. But for now, I feel I'm at a good place and on a good path. I am forever grateful for all that my doctors tried to do to help me. Sometimes they can find the answer and solution. Other times they cannot. I prefer treating things as natural as possible if I can...because side effects are tough to deal with. To have a natural solution is a relief.
Sometimes you need to take medications, I am not against that. But sometimes you don't. I'm thankful in this case, for now , I don't need to. In my pursuit for an answer I went to regular medical doctors, my allergist and will consider an autoimmune specialist if needed. I also felt to make sure I covered all bases, I needed to see my naturopath as well. For me, it felt like a well -rounded approach to my health. Gather everyone's expertise and ideas, and see what conclusion we can come too. My naturopath was the one able to give me something that really helped.
After almost 10 years of struggle, I think , I HOPE, I'm finally going to be in control of this { instead of it controlling me} and hive free.
I also learned that God chooses to heal in various ways. Sometimes He will take something away immediately. There are countless stories of this happening to people. A miraculous unexplainable healing. I absolutely believe He can do that and have witnessed it myself. At the same time, only He knows how or why He heals immediately sometimes and not others. Sometimes He will heal you through the expertise He has given someone else. Maybe that doctor or individual needs to know they have value and worth in helping someone. That their many years of education, time, money and hard work are not wasted. Who knows. We may never know. But we have to trust. He knows. He will answer. He will heal in some way.
I was begging God for help ....and He answered.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Thank you to those who have prayed and offered help and advice. If you are at rock bottom like me and would like to know more about how I am treating my hives and anxiety, please comment and I will be in touch. I'm not selling or promoting anything. I simply want to help people who may be in a similar place as I was.
