{ This is Part 3 of a series on my struggle with unexplained/undiagnosed sickness. To catch up, you are welcome to read Part 1 & 2 }
Isaac and I struggle with our health, most of you know that. So many questions and so many tearful prayers. Then I came across 2 Corinthians 12:7-10:
"So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh... Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Everyone longs for healing. Especially for your sick child. It's hard. The first part , I could have written. Begging the Lord to take the "thorn in our flesh" away & heal us. I believe the Lord can heal people from sickness and disease. I know of people that have been healed in huge ways and in small ways. I have no doubts this can happen.
But, maybe it's not to happen for everyone, in the way we would like or the way we understand to be "healing". It wasn't to happen for Paul. But God knew why Paul had to have that "thorn" and only He knew what this would do to Paul if He took it away and healed him. The Lord is kind and good , He loves us so very much, if He is to leave a "thorn" where it is, it must be for a very good reason. One only He knows.
I believe He heals people in various ways. I have prayed countless prayers for healing for myself and Isaac over the years. But this verse makes me think that I've maybe missed something. I don't know "why" we continue to be sick and there are 100's of possibilities. Perhaps the answer is complicated..or perhaps it's simple. Perhaps for reasons only He knows... we continue to have these "thorns".
It makes me wonder...like Paul....would I , too, become proud if I had no illness to keep me humble? Would Isaac? What could the purpose be in all of this? Who would we be ,or become, if we didn't have these "thorns"? Is it to help us be compassionate and kind to those with similar struggles? Is it to encourage others in some way? Being ill since birth has definitely helped me to be compassionate and caring to those who suffer with illness. I wish there could be another way...but as Jesus prayed for God to take away his cup of suffering to come, He also prayed "Your will be done".
It makes me wonder...like Paul....would I , too, become proud if I had no illness to keep me humble? Would Isaac? What could the purpose be in all of this? Who would we be ,or become, if we didn't have these "thorns"? Is it to help us be compassionate and kind to those with similar struggles? Is it to encourage others in some way? Being ill since birth has definitely helped me to be compassionate and caring to those who suffer with illness. I wish there could be another way...but as Jesus prayed for God to take away his cup of suffering to come, He also prayed "Your will be done".
For whatever reason, my weary heart and soul has found some strange kind of peace in reading this today. Why in the world would I find peace in thinking perhaps God's going to keep our "thorns" where they are like He did to Paul? I don't want us to be sick and I'll continue to do everything I can to find answers and help for us. This verse and even the odd peace I feel doesn't make it easier, but I'm praying that if that is what He wants, that He can change our hearts so we can "boast and take pleasure in our weakness" So HIS power can be make perfect in OUR weakness.
I know God does not want us to suffer and does not take pleasure in our pain. And even after reading this , I will still continue to pray for and believe in healing. But I'll also think of this verse more often and while we "wait patiently for the Lord" to heal us and/or bring us to answers...I pray we can also see our suffering in the way Paul did.
I don't now about you, but I often pay more attention to the times in the Bible Jesus healed people immediately, he cast out demons on the spot, people rose from death to life at the touch of his hand or sound of his voice. He healed people based on their faith and belief alone. One lady simply touched his robe and was healed! I have found so much hope in these stories and have believed wholeheartedly He can and will heal in the same way today.
But...I've not paid as much attention to verses like this...stories like Pauls...and others. Job is another one. Great suffering. Job did eventually see deliverance but he went through literal hell on earth first. We don't understand why..but God says His ways are higher then our ways, His thoughts HIGHER then ours. We cannot ever understand the HIGH ways of our creator.
I clung to the healing testimonies and words of Christ, but simply read and moved on from Pauls testimony of the thorn in his flesh and how he dealt with it. How he accepted it and looked at it differently after begging for healing. Did he give up on God when God didn't "answer" his request for healing? No...he asked...he prayed..he listened to the Lord and then he allowed God to change his heart. He also CHOSE to embrace this thorn and then work with it! He let his struggle transform him and also allow it to grow his faith even bigger and deeper! He never gave up. He believed, like I do and many of us do, that God IS listening to us, He IS healing in ways we dont see feel or understand , and He IS GOOD ...if He is leaving this thorn, there must be a good reason.
I don't now about you, but I often pay more attention to the times in the Bible Jesus healed people immediately, he cast out demons on the spot, people rose from death to life at the touch of his hand or sound of his voice. He healed people based on their faith and belief alone. One lady simply touched his robe and was healed! I have found so much hope in these stories and have believed wholeheartedly He can and will heal in the same way today.
But...I've not paid as much attention to verses like this...stories like Pauls...and others. Job is another one. Great suffering. Job did eventually see deliverance but he went through literal hell on earth first. We don't understand why..but God says His ways are higher then our ways, His thoughts HIGHER then ours. We cannot ever understand the HIGH ways of our creator.
I clung to the healing testimonies and words of Christ, but simply read and moved on from Pauls testimony of the thorn in his flesh and how he dealt with it. How he accepted it and looked at it differently after begging for healing. Did he give up on God when God didn't "answer" his request for healing? No...he asked...he prayed..he listened to the Lord and then he allowed God to change his heart. He also CHOSE to embrace this thorn and then work with it! He let his struggle transform him and also allow it to grow his faith even bigger and deeper! He never gave up. He believed, like I do and many of us do, that God IS listening to us, He IS healing in ways we dont see feel or understand , and He IS GOOD ...if He is leaving this thorn, there must be a good reason.
Here's another one that stood out to me today and has made me think differently about our struggle with our health:
Psalm 40
"I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God."
Perhaps this Psalm is speaking of a struggle that God healed him from. Or perhaps it speaks of a struggle, that God did not deliver him from , but changed his heart and delivered /healed him in a different way. In his mind/heart/persective. To where, like Paul, he can praise God in the midst of pain and hardship.
Whatever the reason, whatever is going to happen, I pray God gives us hearts and attitudes like Paul, David, and Jesus. We cry out for healing, but we know God's grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in our weakness. We wait Patiently for the Lord to answer, as he lifts us up out of the pit of despair and gives us hope. We can stand on His firm foundation no matter what trials come our way. He will give us new songs of praise and perhaps some will come to put their trust in Him as a result of our hardship and struggle. Perhaps He leaves the "thorns" for that reason alone. And like Jesus prayed, God we ask that you take this cup of suffering from us, but your will be done , not ours. If you will these thorns Lord, then help us to have peace, joy and trust through it.
If you know someone who is sick quite often or has a loved one that suffers, take the time to listen to them. Give them a hug, pray with them, be gentle and understanding. You may be tempted to judge them, but no one knows the true reasons a person is suffering. Perhaps you are blessed to not struggle in this way, but they do, for whatever reason. Having compassionate and loving ears to listen, arms to hug, hearts to love...truly comforts and lifts up those who are weary and burdened. A simple text, message, email or phone call to check in and see how they are doing goes a long way. You may not be able to "relate" and that's ok..but it's a lonely world when you suffer repeatedly. Reaching out in some way can make a huge difference.
And if, like me and Isaac, you suffer continuously with some unknown sickness, or you know someone who does....have faith, trust , and hope ...believe that He can heal you. Pray for healing. Do what you can to get an answer. But also consider that He may allow the "thorn" you are dealing with...for reasons only He knows. Trust Him in this! It's hard, but let's follow Pauls lead and never give up. One day, our suffering will be over. What a glorious day that will be. Until then, let's encourage one another and build each other up, trusting in the Lord and His higher ways , together. <3
And if, like me and Isaac, you suffer continuously with some unknown sickness, or you know someone who does....have faith, trust , and hope ...believe that He can heal you. Pray for healing. Do what you can to get an answer. But also consider that He may allow the "thorn" you are dealing with...for reasons only He knows. Trust Him in this! It's hard, but let's follow Pauls lead and never give up. One day, our suffering will be over. What a glorious day that will be. Until then, let's encourage one another and build each other up, trusting in the Lord and His higher ways , together. <3
