~Health Update~

An update for family & friends:  2 weeks ago today I was fighting Sepsis in ICU. It is truly terrifying and it happens so fast. I'm SO thankful to be home recovering and to be feeling much better then last week. I still have a little ways to go with healing , but I'm farther then I thought I'd be at this point.

Thursday April 5th is a day I will never forget. I was recovering from a procedure done on my liver Monday April 2nd. I wasn't feeling well, but thought it was normal post-procedure and minor surgery symptoms. Little did I know that a deadly infection was brewing and about to hit my blood stream. Wednesday night I began with incredibly horrible abdominal pain. I thought maybe air pockets from the procedure. {They did find via cat scan air in my bile duct and gastritis from the procedure}  It eased up and I went to sleep for a few hours. Around 6am I woke up with even worse pain, chills , shaking, could not speak , could barely walk, couldn't remember the last time I went to the bathroom yet had been drinking a ton...I felt very confused and dizzy. I was really scared. I never felt that sick in my life. I woke up Matt and with the few words I could speak I said "ER now".  He didn't miss a beat and within 20 mins I was in the LGH ER. 

The rest is a blur. I remember bits and pieces. I recall being taken not to the normal ER area but to a special room with my own nurse. Found out later after talking to my Mom that the same thing happened to Dave. His own room with his own nurse.  There were IV's , blood work and lots of meds and a severe breakout of hives that required an Epi-pen. I dozed off a lot, some from the sepsis some from the morphine. I would wake to docs talking to me but I can't recall much of what was said. I remember my nurse being extremely concerned about my low blood pressure and very high heartbeat. I had no clue why my vitals were like that. I just wanted to get better. To feel better. And to go home. Next thing I know, they are telling me I have to be admitted to the ICU. What? Why?! Not admitted again, I just got home. Vitals aren't good. Need to rule out infection. Need to get you better. I don't remember the rest of that day or evening. I know Matt and Isaac had to go home because kids under 12 couldn't be in the ICU. I missed my family so much. 

Friday April 6th- My Dad's 18th anniversary of his passing. I didn't even remember it. I didn't know what day it was. I was still pretty sick and out of it. They told me I had confirmation of blood infection, they amped up the antibiotics to 3 or 4 times a day via IV and also orally as well. I still had the hives so they were managing that as well with IV steroids. So much Benadryl , steroids, antibiotics, meds. Another day of being out of it and not remembering much. More blood work to find out what infection it was. My vitals still weren't ideal but they were getting better. I know more doctors came in to talk to me but I still do not have much memory from that day either. It didn't hit me until I was home recovering, that I was in the ICU fighting a life threatening infection on the same day my Dad passed away. It was an emotional moment. Incredibly thankful that I didn't pass on the same day, that my boys didn't have to lose their Mommy , Matt didn't have to lose his wife and my Mom didn't have to lose her daughter on an already difficult day for all of us. 

It wasn't until Saturday the 7th {Matt's birthday} that I began to slowly feel a little better , was more awake and aware. I was transferred to another room on another floor and Matt, the boys and my Mom were able to visit me. That lifted my spirits immensely!  I improved from that day on and was able to go home Sunday April 8th. They found out the infection was from E-coli and that the antibiotics were doing their job. My blood work was normalizing and latest labs looked good. I dreaded the thought of having to stay longer and so grateful I was stable enough to go home. 

My recovery last week was rough, but being home helped. I am happy to say this week is MUCH better! I'm starting to feel like my self again. My last day for oral antibiotics was today, Friday April 20th. I have to watch my symptoms for about 48 hours , so praying I stay healthy and well. 

I'm forever grateful to:

1) God for saving my life- for clearly letting me know something was very very wrong and that I needed to go to the ER immediately 

2) Matt for seeing I needed help ASAP and getting me to LGH quickly 

3) All of the docs and nurses who took care of me at LGH ER and ICU. They saw this was serious, they were on top of it. They found out within 24 hours that I had a blood infection and treated me immediately. Even before they got the confirmation via lab work they had started IV antibiotics. They absolutely saved my life.

As many of you know, Dave {my Step-Dad} died from septic shock 3 years ago in March. All we knew about sepsis is that once you have it, your chances are slim. Sepsis = death to us , and it was terrifying to be told I had it. I didn't know people could survive.

What I've learned since my ordeal is that the key to survival is getting help/treatment ASAP. 

DO NOT WAIT if you have symptoms. You will know something is not right. I tend to wait things out. I do not want to be running to the doctor or ER constantly for things that will get better in a few days with fluids and rest. However, with just having a procedure done...then getting so so very sick a few days later... I never felt that sick in my life...it was clear I had to go. The internal medicine Dr. said that Matt bringing me as soon as he did helped in saving my life.

I wish Dave could have had that chance. But I know if he could talk to me, he would be happy that I got help and that I'm doing well. He would also be happy to know that his death from sepsis helped us to be extra aware of the signs...and that awareness and concern is what pushed me to get help. 

My infection was caused by my procedure at Hershey , however sepsis can be caused by many things. Symptoms vary ,but for me it was : Extremely LOW body temp, extreme chills to the bone- cannot get warm no matter what you do, full body shaking that was uncontrollable, cannot speak correctly or at all, mental confusion {can't think normally, cannot form words to speak}, no urine output {kidneys were shutting down} which leads to being extremely thirsty and dehydrated, extreme abdominal pain -the worst I've ever had, blurry vision, dizzy.

I attached a visual of other symptoms for sepsis. Sometimes it's a high temp but can also be a low temp. You may have the flu and think it's just that, but don't wait. In cases where you've had a procedure done, surgery, some injury, or have been sick...if you have any of these symptoms you have to go...it could be the difference between life and death.

Grateful doesn't begin to describe how I feel. When you've been through something like that...it changes you. Changes how you look at life...positive changes. I've experienced a lot of loss & death,  and those things change you too...but facing it myself - I'll never be the same.  I've been through major surgery where doctors told my family chances are 50/50 that she will survive this, and we all said our goodbye's. But this...this was different. This wasn't expected, planned or known. One minute I was home recovering from a procedure, the next I'm in the ER fighting a battle I wasn't even completely aware of for the first day. Matt wasn't even exactly sure why I was being admitted to the ICU. We knew my vitals were very bad... but we didn't know why. They talked about a possible infection, but we didn't know for sure until the following day. 

I'm finding that normal every day things mean so much more to me now. It's almost like I have a new pair of glasses on...and I'm seeing things clearer, brighter, different then I did before. Holding my loved ones even closer. Grateful for every moment, literally. Grateful for every day I wake up at home, feeling healthy , able to do things with my boys. I was a grateful person before but...even more now.  I pray as time goes on...these new glasses don't wear out and that I will always maintain this THANKFUL perspective. 

There are some not so great side effects of going through something like that...and for those I'm meeting with my lovely , sweet and amazing therapist. Being proactive with my physical, mental/emotional health has always been important to me. It was clear last week after I was home a few days that this experience {while so very thankful to be alive and be home} had done something to me emotionally. I'm feeling stronger and better in that area this week,  but having my therapist work with me through it seems like the right step forward in my healing. When anything happens to us in life...it tends to have a domino effect on all areas of life...our mind/emotions and our body. I'm healing physically...but also have to heal emotionally. 

I'm hopeful my recovery will continue to be smooth and good, and soon I'll be back to normal enjoying all the fun adventures that come with Spring & Summer! We are so incredibly grateful for the kind words, actions & prayers of our friends and family over the last few weeks. Thank you all! 

Oh and for those wondering how my procedure went for my liver.  The Dr at Hershey was able to get to the area in question and I had one closed bile duct. This bile duct may have been closing..or closed...for the last 10 years. With the surgery I had done 12 years ago...they had to remove my common bile duct and make a new one. Thankfully, they made two instead of one. We knew that a long term risk was closing of the bile ducts...of course you never think that will really happen.  It could have been the cause of my extreme liver pain and hives all these years. The Dr. opened up my bile duct and cleaned it out. He said he hopes I can get 5-10 yrs out of the ducts before they would close again. Hopefully that was it and I will be able to experience GOOD health for many years to come! So far, no liver pain and no hives! I will celebrate when I reach one month hive free. I prayed hard for an answer to my hives that were getting unbearable and out of control...and this may be it.  I meet with my GI doctor on Monday to discuss the procedure and results...hoping and praying he feels this was the cause of my issues and that I'm done and do not need any further tests or procedures. 

WHY. I've asked that so many times, for so long. When you continuously go through trial after trail...it can wear you down.  Maybe we will find out why. Or, we may never know. I don't ask why anymore. Now, I just say THANK YOU. Thank you for this day. It is a gift. None of us knows the day or the hour that will be our last. We shouldn't obsess over it in misery. Instead, take THIS day that has been gifted to you and make it a good one. Do good things. Have fun. Love people. Be nice. Hug a lot. {I LOVE HUGS} Make peace. Make memories and special moments. Just live like today is the only day you have because the reality is...today IS the only day we have. Tomorrow is in the future and hasn't happened yet.  I'm writing this to myself too. In the hopes I will never forget it...and can pass it on to my kids..and my grandkids. Live with GRATITUDE and life will be beautiful every day, no matter what is going on. <3

GRATEFUL & HOPEFUL